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” I am not the General Manager of the Universe”

Why is it so hard for me to say hey‚ I do not have it all figured out today. I do not have a magic Crystal ball that will go in the future and tell me everything I am supposed to be doing in my life.  ” I am not the Manager of the Universe”. I mean‚ I can barely manage myself.

Instead‚ I preceded to bite my nails and obsess about everything that could go possibly wrong in the future. After I spent a good half hour of spinning out on myself‚ I dive into worrying about my loved one’s lives. Then‚ I wonder if I am on the right path of what I should be doing career wise.” Should I do this‚ or should I do that” played in my head like a broken record. I literally‚ was trying to plan out the next ten years of my life. I was going insane worrying about things that May never happen.  I felt mentally exhausted and needed a nap after that merry go round.

I then stood up‚ walked to my bathroom mirror‚ looked myself straight in the eye‚ and said‚ “Crystal you are done for the day”. I decided to hand over my “Manager of the Universe”card to God and give him the reigns. I was sick and tired of  trying to control everything. Right then and there‚ I had freedom. I put down my torch for the day and gave up the fight.

I had an epiphany today. Life is not supposed to be tied up in a perfect bow. We are not linear and either is life. Life takes unexpected twists and turns and It is up to me if I want to go with the flow. Today‚ I realized I do not know everything and life is a mystery. I am on the journey and  I can choose how I want to ride.Or‚ I could always revert back to the  crazy person I was today‚ and micro manage everything.  Instead‚ I decided to leave the battle for God and surrender.