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Trying to get back to center

This last week just one of those kind of weeks Where everything feels like it’s going wrong and you keep trying to get back to center‚ not have a melt down‚ and trudge through the rest of your week. However‚ everywhere you turn some annoying circumstance keeps nailing you in the face.

The first incident that went wrong is I was was twenty minutes late for my first interview. I just moved to Nashville ‚ Tennessee a month and half ago and still am learning my way around. I got there twenty minutes early‚ then my phone died on me‚ and I was aimlessly walking around for forty minutes asking multiple people for directions. Nothing like giving myself a panic attack before I go into an interview. All I could do was to take three breaths‚ say a prayer‚ and do my best.

The second scene that happened is I come down with a wretched cold. I just finished with nursing assistant school and all I have learned about is what precautions to take from preventing yourself from getting diseases and getting sick. I am confident in myself that I am not going to get sick. I have got this down pat. I have spent the whole five weeks washing my hands like a maniac and using all the tools to stay healthy. Well‚ I still got the ugly cough and proceeded to cough uncontrollably for four days. I looked like ten shades of horrible and was driving my husband crazy with my loud hacking.

After a couple of days I am feeling better‚ want to get some gas‚ run some errands‚ get a coffee in town‚ and study. Now‚ this is not like when I lived in Tempe‚ Arizona and there was a gas station and a Starbucks on almost every corner. I am living in the wilderness and It is ten minutes to the gas station or a Starbucks. I look over at my phone that I swear I having been charging all night and unplugged it. Its got about thirty percent juice Left. I figure that will get me around town to run my errands‚ use my GPs‚ and not get lost. I am in my car and almost to the gas station when I realize I have no money with me‚ my gas tank is almost on empty‚ and my phone is dead. Not a good scenario when you Just moved to a new town. At that point I was feeling like that chick in Waiting who is fuming at her rude customer who is complaining about their steak. She goes back into the kitchen and starts to get the Sunday dessert prepared. She’s yelling out loud‚ ” you want your freaking Sunday‚ well I give you freaking Sunday‚ and you shove it where the sun don’t shine. ” Those aren’t her exact words‚ but it is something like it. You have to see the movie because it is hilarious seeing her lose it. That was me in the car for about a straight minute. Just pounding my fists on the wheel and having a train wreck meltdown.

Last but not least I decide to make a dessert for my in laws and my husband. I look up the cookie Graham pie. I lay all my ingredients out and feel that I got a handle on it. Why is that I think in my head that it’s going to turn out amazing like they do on the food network. I am feeling very confident that this is going to turn out amazing and taste just like how the famous chefs cook all their effortless decadent deserts. Instead‚ it turns out hard‚ brittle‚ and it not sweet tasting like it should be. At this point I just needed to go to bed and start a new week.

The lie that I tell myself is my desert needs to turn out perfect and look like the food network’s replica. Then if it doesn’t come out how I want it‚ then I have obviously failed at being the perfect domestic‚ do it all ‚ multitasking super woman. Well‚ I find trying to live up to that standard exhausting. That was me trying to fit into super woman’s shoes this week. She is crabby‚ gets run down‚ gets sick‚ and beats herself up all the time. I finally waved my red flag and said “God‚ I give up and I surrender and I am going to stop trying to run the show.” I decided to leave the results up to him. It’s not worth it. Nobody can have a happy‚ centered life when they are trying to split themselves seven different ways . Part of me thinks all these irritating things that happened this week are because God is telling me to slow down. I am no good to myself‚ my family‚ and my husband when I am not centered. So I am taking the hints and cutting myself some slack. Oh how good it feels to let go of the reigns.

Have you ever felt this way in your life?